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Open Letter to Adwords Invalid Clickers

 

Let’s get right to it since clearly your time is so valuable and well-spent.

 

  1. You’re Not Cornering The Market

    Potential clients don’t hire the first ad that appears on Google without comparing services and prices. I know, crazy right? You will never be the only ad that appears. You will never be the only ad clients click. You may be first in line, but people like to have options. If you do successfully click an ad straight out of business, there will be another ad. Always. Competitors will still advertise.

    Instead, why don’t you try this:

    Dust off the textbook on ethics from your HOW TO DO BUSINESS 101 class and work on your sales pitch instead. And while you search for your moral standards, try chanting the mantra “I am my own competition. I am my own competition”.

  2. Your Clicking Costs You More Than It Does Your Competitor
    Adwords Invalid Clicks

    Have no valid business plan? Become an invalid clicker and give the extreme sport of clicking on adwords a try.

    We live in era where time has become the single most valuable commodity on the market. Even if you consider your time worthless, you can still spend it more productively by reaching higher levels in Candy Crush.

    Google Adwords may charge your competition with some of your clicks, but their investigative Adwords team is one annoyingly detailed form away. They analyze patterns and behaviors beyond simple IP addresses. So now, instead of being in the business of doing business, you’re in the business of doing nothing. So while you’re clicking away at other ads and losing momentum in the Chocolate Barn level in world four, your competition is pitching to the clients that you could have bothered with instead.

    Instead why don’t you try this:

    Go to candycrush-cheats.com and effortlessly zip through all the levels of all the worlds in candy crush land since this is the kind of person you are. Or instead, spend some time working on your organic listing. Once you rank on the first page of Google for your preferred keyword, you can finally feel like your business has reached a level of dramatic success attained by only 9 other people – for that keyword.

  3. Your Reputation Is Tarnished

    Monday morning, 9:00 am. Well, maybe more like 11:00 am cause who in their right mind would pass up on an all-weekend bottle service binge at Buonanotte? Dude, no one. Am I right?

    You launch your browser result page for your favorite keyword and irritating companies are still advertising on Adwords. First order of business, coffee; second order of business, coffee. Third order, send a mass text to 15 friends across the city to start clicking once or twice on their annoying ads.

    Do you really want people to know that this is the way you do business? I’d be embarrassed if my marketing plan involved getting my friends to click on Google ads.

    Google is also not the only one with the ability to analyze patterns. Every Adwords advertiser collects data from visitors and analyzes patterns in a much more sensible and less automated way than Google. Your competitor will figure out who you are. And then:

a) your unscrupulous competitor shares the same exact marketing plan and let the clicking wars begin.

b) your friends start screening your calls and simultaneously rolling their eyes at your stellar marketing goals. (Ciao bye to your next invite to Buonanotte).

c) you definitely can get black lists by Google.

d) you have no more time to spend in Candyland.

e) You will never be considered as an authoritative member of the community within your industry.

You should definitely go back and read c) twice. But, if you ask me, e) is the worst downfall and entirely irreparable – irreparable means it can’t be fixed.

On a final note: Stop telling your friends to call fishing for prices. Your clients won’t choose your services based on price and anyway I don’t lock my price list at the end of a maze in a vault with 8 combinations and fingerprint access. It’s right there on my site. You know who you are.

 

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Saffronweb.com is a Montreal based web design company founded in 1999. We specialize in website design, custom wordpress development, and social media management. (514) 865-7292